I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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