she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
