felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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