yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
