My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
