I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
