Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
