so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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