Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
