4 words: hood of his car
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
