a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
