Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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