these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
