2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
