We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
