Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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