he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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