i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
