Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
