Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
