i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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