Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
