Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
