She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
