You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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