Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
