they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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