I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
