Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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