How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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