how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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