Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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