you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
