After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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