I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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