I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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