I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we're making bets on your personal life
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
