Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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