I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
