my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
