another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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