She's JV to your varsity
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
