the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
