so that wasnt chicken after all
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
