dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
