btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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