Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
