For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
