So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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