well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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